Update on Birth...
So my friends first doula experience sounds like it was a trial by fire. 27hrs +, epidural at 8cms (bugger...), Pitocin a short while later, complete and pushing for a couple of hours before edema (swelling) started to inhibit things. Baby failing to move down. OP? Pushing stopped in an attempt to allow swelling to go down, more pushing, still no progress. Baby eventually born my C-section late yesterday afternoon. Sigh.
I'm sad for the mama, who had worked so hard, and sad for my friend who I'm sure helped so well and still missed out on her first birth. It sucks. I'm glad though that Mama and baby are now recovering.
And in my head I ask all the questions I always ask. If she'd been able to keep on moving could that baby have turned and descended? Did the hospital staff and her doctor really support her wishes and not insist on the stupid things like constant monitoring and IV's and all the bits and pieces that inevitably inhibit laboring women so powerfully. Were they quiet and respectful of her wishes and did she get to hold and nurse her baby immediately after he was born?
See? I'm possessed. It wasn't even 'my' birth. And I'm still asking these questions. Maybe I'm crazy.
I'm sad for the mama, who had worked so hard, and sad for my friend who I'm sure helped so well and still missed out on her first birth. It sucks. I'm glad though that Mama and baby are now recovering.
And in my head I ask all the questions I always ask. If she'd been able to keep on moving could that baby have turned and descended? Did the hospital staff and her doctor really support her wishes and not insist on the stupid things like constant monitoring and IV's and all the bits and pieces that inevitably inhibit laboring women so powerfully. Were they quiet and respectful of her wishes and did she get to hold and nurse her baby immediately after he was born?
See? I'm possessed. It wasn't even 'my' birth. And I'm still asking these questions. Maybe I'm crazy.
posted by Louisa at 9:00 AM
2 Comments:
You are crazy - birth crazy, woman crazy!
I've had to come to learn that we get the birth we 'need' even if we don't understand it at the time. Trauma (unfortunately) often spurs women into deeper action and a deeper presence in their lives, even if not right away.
I just attended a birth a few weeks ago (an island mama, actually) whose ended in cesarean and I knew as we were mindfully aware of each moment that THIS was her trial by fire, her rite of passage- I knew it as we headed toward the outcome during the labor and I knew it as I waited for them to come out of the OR. She knew it, too, I think. It's so unexpected, the things that birth can show me when I'm just listening, staying open. I'm always surprised at the intensity of what I learn as I process through a birth.
I think that we are heading this direction of cutting our babies out and induced labors and rampant OP because we have no birth in our cultural story... it's all about succeeding, being the fastest, best, having the most- and no where does birth fit in anywhere in there. Birth isn't better when there is more intervention or technology or people standing around to help, and it's not a fast process, and there is no 'best' award to receive. Your earlier post about the sex slave industry touches on birth in our culture too. If we valued women, TRULY and not just because we 'have' to, we would value birth.
Have you found a new au pair?
Hh
Post a Comment
<< Home