Babies
Three babies (almost) in 5 days...
The first born almost silently into her daddy's hands in the tub in her bathroom with two of her sisters looking on with wonder. In classic water baby fashion she took a deep snuffly breath, turned pink and lay back to look at the faces around her and (I imagine) match them to the sounds she'd heard in utero these past 6 months or so. Her's was quite the perfect birth to initiate me into the wonders of effortless (this mama made it look so), loving, home birth.
The second a brisk and un-fussy VBAC, five minutes from hospital in a cozy corner of a relative's man cave. Baby boy slid earthside waving his arms and eager to nurse.
Both good sized babies (+8lbs), both over intact perineums.
The third (my friend B's) still waits to come after a week of prodromal labor and 18 or so hours and counting of early, regular contractions which are not amounting to much yet. We walked island streets last night till about 1am when we decided to go to bed in the hope of more rest 'til her body makes up it's mind properly. I expect it will come some time today.
In the interim MY babies are feverish and grouchy. My sleep deficit after three nights up at births (and almost births) is not insignificant and my stomach feels unwilling to submit to the caffinated attentions which I usually show it at this time of the morning. Being sleepy is a small price to pay for the privilege of greeting new life and new motherhood.
A friend of a dear friend, for whom I have been cheering quietly met her baby girl last week also. A Somalian refugee, her childhood infibulation* left her scarred and resulted in, among other things in the cesarean birth of her firstborn. Her dearest wish this time around was for a vaginal birth, and the dramatic episiotomies through lots of hardened scar tissue which would allow not only her baby to be born but also for her to enjoy sex with her husband for the first time. Her doctors helped her to achieve her wish. Her episiotomies (anterior toward her pubic bone, where her clitoris once was and posteriorly into her perineum) I'm sure are still painful 10 days or so later as she cares for her new daughter (who will not be similarly mutilated) and her older son, but perhaps with hope for a future with some horrific childhood damage at least a little bit undone.
With that woman in your thoughts and if you are not averse to a great posts on genital integrity pop on over to wonderful Navelgazing Midwife's place for her post on Shame. I believe there is a special place in hell those plastic surgeons who make squillions fashioning artificially "perfect" childlike genitals for women who only needed to be told, genuinely and with love, that their vulvas were perfect to begin with.
*Infibulation is the most extreme form of female genital mutilation/circumcision. It involves excision of the clitoris, labia (minora and majora) and then the stitching of the tissues together leaving a tiny hole (or sometimes two) to allow for passage of urine and menstrual blood. To read more...
The first born almost silently into her daddy's hands in the tub in her bathroom with two of her sisters looking on with wonder. In classic water baby fashion she took a deep snuffly breath, turned pink and lay back to look at the faces around her and (I imagine) match them to the sounds she'd heard in utero these past 6 months or so. Her's was quite the perfect birth to initiate me into the wonders of effortless (this mama made it look so), loving, home birth.
The second a brisk and un-fussy VBAC, five minutes from hospital in a cozy corner of a relative's man cave. Baby boy slid earthside waving his arms and eager to nurse.
Both good sized babies (+8lbs), both over intact perineums.
The third (my friend B's) still waits to come after a week of prodromal labor and 18 or so hours and counting of early, regular contractions which are not amounting to much yet. We walked island streets last night till about 1am when we decided to go to bed in the hope of more rest 'til her body makes up it's mind properly. I expect it will come some time today.
In the interim MY babies are feverish and grouchy. My sleep deficit after three nights up at births (and almost births) is not insignificant and my stomach feels unwilling to submit to the caffinated attentions which I usually show it at this time of the morning. Being sleepy is a small price to pay for the privilege of greeting new life and new motherhood.
A friend of a dear friend, for whom I have been cheering quietly met her baby girl last week also. A Somalian refugee, her childhood infibulation* left her scarred and resulted in, among other things in the cesarean birth of her firstborn. Her dearest wish this time around was for a vaginal birth, and the dramatic episiotomies through lots of hardened scar tissue which would allow not only her baby to be born but also for her to enjoy sex with her husband for the first time. Her doctors helped her to achieve her wish. Her episiotomies (anterior toward her pubic bone, where her clitoris once was and posteriorly into her perineum) I'm sure are still painful 10 days or so later as she cares for her new daughter (who will not be similarly mutilated) and her older son, but perhaps with hope for a future with some horrific childhood damage at least a little bit undone.
With that woman in your thoughts and if you are not averse to a great posts on genital integrity pop on over to wonderful Navelgazing Midwife's place for her post on Shame. I believe there is a special place in hell those plastic surgeons who make squillions fashioning artificially "perfect" childlike genitals for women who only needed to be told, genuinely and with love, that their vulvas were perfect to begin with.
*Infibulation is the most extreme form of female genital mutilation/circumcision. It involves excision of the clitoris, labia (minora and majora) and then the stitching of the tissues together leaving a tiny hole (or sometimes two) to allow for passage of urine and menstrual blood. To read more...
posted by Louisa at 10:05 AM
4 Comments:
So happy, and then so sad... what a wonderful post! Makes me wish I'd stayed with my true passion instead of following the money. (Sigh...)
Carol
i went over and read shame, what an article. i've never heard that b4.
glad your births went well, and hoping the next one does as well. still waiting on one here, any day now;)
thanks for that post. I've nominated you for the Thinking Blogger award. Go to my site www.donorcycle.blogspot.com for more info. Thanks.
Susan
I think this will come up a lot in my (and your) fair town, given the influx we've had recently of Somalian refugees. I shall await it with interest.
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