Be Advised: PMS Post
It' s inevitable. I think that when you own a blog and are a woman sooner or later you decend into the (probably inadvisable) PMS Post. I think I've had one brewing for a couple of days now. With that said I'll allow those of you who would prefer not to wallow with me in the pit of premenstrual melancholy to click onwards to happier climes elsewhere on the internet. 'Cause, suffice to say that I'm pissed and need to vent.
This week at school sucked. Not excessively, not even as hard as some of my previous unive
rsity has, it just combined a mid-term from hell in a new (online) format with a couple of classes which I think are massively pointless and just piss me off. I like perinatal nutrition, I even think it's important but it's being taught in a manner reminicent of tantric fucking yoga (no pun intended). Otherwise phrased as one of the 7 great mysteries of the modern world. I feel forced to spout discussion posts on the selected topic which are monumental and prettily crafted piles of steaming horse-shit. It's nutrition, it's not ancient Buddhist philosphy. I can see why hippy types like to think of their organic/wholegrain/vegan tables approximate alters in their homes but ferchrissake, get serious will you? Oh and my first biostatistics assignment was due this week too. I'm NOT going to enjoy the rest of the year.
While I'm on the topic of school I'm mildly pissed off at a couple of school related matters which I shant spell out, largely due to the fact that it's all totally unsubstantiated at this point but just the fact that this appears to have happened pisses me off beyond belief. I can't really do much about it aside from raising it with the powers that be and hope that they learn from it. I am frustrated at some of the amateurish stuff which occasionally seems to percolate out. It's not unusual or even completely unexpected, it's just dissapointing and provokes a not insignificant anxiety in me. I'm paying big dollars for an education and just as they expect standards from me as a student I expect standards from them too. You can't advertise what you then don't deliver. So that's been pissing me off too. I remain deeply shitty at a classmate as well with whom I went toe-to-toe last month. There are things I love about this woman but I'm still furious with her. I am anxious about sharing a classroom with her again next week. I have a feeling our conflict is not yet resolved.
Yeah, my period's due and I have another week of pelvic practice to look forward to. The onsites couldn't be timed any better. I am now three for three timing my onsites with my period. Being used as a practice pelvis is usually relatively benign but I HATE pap smears at the best of times (being blessed with an exquistely sensitive cervix and still-tender scar tissue from my birth tears) and holy crap, I hate just looking at those fucking cytobrushes, let alone allowing a bunch of them to maul my poor menstruating cervix over and over again. My classmates had better be able to offer the best EVER pelvic exams and pap tests known to man by the time we're done learning this stuff. I'm about fed up with it. Mutiny is looking more and more attractive. (And yes, if you didn't know, that is a cervix with cytobrush inserted being turned the requisite 5 full turns to obtain the required samping of endocervical cells required for a papanicolou (Pap) smear.)
In other news my Eldest who has hitherto been a poster child for mild-mannered/polite/perfect little gentleman recently morphed into a 4 year old FROM HELL. Our mornings are consumed by temper tantrums featuring hour-long screaming fits, throwing of shoes/toys/whatever. Even my caffeine intake is struggling to manage my almost unbearable urge to SMACKHIMUPSIDETHEHEAD. I have no more tools left. First I removed some toys, then television, and this morning even a long-awaited playdate. He's so bloody irritating at times I want to send him to his Grandmother in Kansas City, for whom he will do no wrong. WonderNanny and I sat together in the livingroom this morning as he screamed and ranted in his room and deep-breathed together. This parenting gig only gets harder I've decided. My husband looks at me sideways occasionally and mutters statements which pretty much amount to "you're crazy if you think we're gonna have any more kids". On mornings like today's I am inclined to agree with him.
Finally, I remain distressed about the circumcision issue which I posted on a while ago. I have faught another skirmish for the anti-circ. cause on yet another mailing list and once again am left feeling tired and sad. I guess I expected more (?) from a group of student midwives. Just goes to show that it takes all kinds of people, but in the interim we're still permanently altering the genitals of babies without their consent, causing lifelong repercussions for some of them, mentally and physically.
I'm tired and cranky. Bed early is indicated, I suspect.
This week at school sucked. Not excessively, not even as hard as some of my previous unive
rsity has, it just combined a mid-term from hell in a new (online) format with a couple of classes which I think are massively pointless and just piss me off. I like perinatal nutrition, I even think it's important but it's being taught in a manner reminicent of tantric fucking yoga (no pun intended). Otherwise phrased as one of the 7 great mysteries of the modern world. I feel forced to spout discussion posts on the selected topic which are monumental and prettily crafted piles of steaming horse-shit. It's nutrition, it's not ancient Buddhist philosphy. I can see why hippy types like to think of their organic/wholegrain/vegan tables approximate alters in their homes but ferchrissake, get serious will you? Oh and my first biostatistics assignment was due this week too. I'm NOT going to enjoy the rest of the year.While I'm on the topic of school I'm mildly pissed off at a couple of school related matters which I shant spell out, largely due to the fact that it's all totally unsubstantiated at this point but just the fact that this appears to have happened pisses me off beyond belief. I can't really do much about it aside from raising it with the powers that be and hope that they learn from it. I am frustrated at some of the amateurish stuff which occasionally seems to percolate out. It's not unusual or even completely unexpected, it's just dissapointing and provokes a not insignificant anxiety in me. I'm paying big dollars for an education and just as they expect standards from me as a student I expect standards from them too. You can't advertise what you then don't deliver. So that's been pissing me off too. I remain deeply shitty at a classmate as well with whom I went toe-to-toe last month. There are things I love about this woman but I'm still furious with her. I am anxious about sharing a classroom with her again next week. I have a feeling our conflict is not yet resolved.
Yeah, my period's due and I have another week of pelvic practice to look forward to. The onsites couldn't be timed any better. I am now three for three timing my onsites with my period. Being used as a practice pelvis is usually relatively benign but I HATE pap smears at the best of times (being blessed with an exquistely sensitive cervix and still-tender scar tissue from my birth tears) and holy crap, I hate just looking at those fucking cytobrushes, let alone allowing a bunch of them to maul my poor menstruating cervix over and over again. My classmates had better be able to offer the best EVER pelvic exams and pap tests known to man by the time we're done learning this stuff. I'm about fed up with it. Mutiny is looking more and more attractive. (And yes, if you didn't know, that is a cervix with cytobrush inserted being turned the requisite 5 full turns to obtain the required samping of endocervical cells required for a papanicolou (Pap) smear.)In other news my Eldest who has hitherto been a poster child for mild-mannered/polite/perfect little gentleman recently morphed into a 4 year old FROM HELL. Our mornings are consumed by temper tantrums featuring hour-long screaming fits, throwing of shoes/toys/whatever. Even my caffeine intake is struggling to manage my almost unbearable urge to SMACKHIMUPSIDETHEHEAD. I have no more tools left. First I removed some toys, then television, and this morning even a long-awaited playdate. He's so bloody irritating at times I want to send him to his Grandmother in Kansas City, for whom he will do no wrong. WonderNanny and I sat together in the livingroom this morning as he screamed and ranted in his room and deep-breathed together. This parenting gig only gets harder I've decided. My husband looks at me sideways occasionally and mutters statements which pretty much amount to "you're crazy if you think we're gonna have any more kids". On mornings like today's I am inclined to agree with him.
Finally, I remain distressed about the circumcision issue which I posted on a while ago. I have faught another skirmish for the anti-circ. cause on yet another mailing list and once again am left feeling tired and sad. I guess I expected more (?) from a group of student midwives. Just goes to show that it takes all kinds of people, but in the interim we're still permanently altering the genitals of babies without their consent, causing lifelong repercussions for some of them, mentally and physically.
I'm tired and cranky. Bed early is indicated, I suspect.
posted by Louisa at 2:51 PM
4 Comments:
((hugs))
yup. I know the feeling. . .
Circ will literally keep me awake at night, I get so sad thinking about it. I don`t get it at all, its all conformity & weak excuses. The intact POV is based on reason, fact & common sense. The pro circ POV is based entirely on emotion yet us anti-circ folks are the ones who are looked at as loony in the US.
On the tantrum front, my 3 year old has always been a challenge as a toddler, but was a sweet easy baby. I tried every kind of time out & other stuff & what finally has worked is just holding him and letting it pass. I would get mad, he would get madder. Now, we wait, hold him, cuddle & it passes. This book helped me http://www.amazon.com/Science-Parenting-Margot-Sunderland/dp/0756618800
Its all different for each family, I only mention it b/c I have been struggling with tantrums too. Good luck! & thanks for truly giving me the creeps about a pap...
Oh my, yes very sympathetic to your PMS plight, to the 4 yearoldfromhell plight, the otherannyoningstudents plight, the papfromhell&pelvimetry plight and would add the unhappyyouaregone24hourshift plight.
Your post is timely and hilarious.
Hugs! 4 years old is rough! I've gone through it completely twice, am almost done with my 3rd being 4...and have one more still to hit the 4's. You will get through.
I'm supposedly reading "Positive Discipline" by Jane Nelson to help with stuff like the 4's. Can't manage to find time though...LOL!
On the circ thing...yikes...have I changed my opinion on that one over the years. Mutilation and child abuse, all rolled into one. I know the feeling of banging your head up against a wall. Hugs! Keep up the good fight--there are people listening! Read this post if you want to have a bit of a laugh about the topic:
http://knittedinthewomb.blogspot.com/2006/10/what-could-i-possibly-gain-from-having.html
Here's another one from my blog, though not at all funny--it was kind of the start of my change from "I'm not circumcizing my sons, but its a personal choice parents make" to "OMG! What are we women thinking? And really, this IS child abuse!": http://knittedinthewomb.blogspot.com/2006/04/women-and-marital-relations.html
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