Rachael's Comment

My friend and Doula colleague sent me the following missive which she had hoped to post on the anti-breastfeeding site which I've posted about on a couple of occasions. The site was closed to most readers before it's settings were (rather cowardly I feel) changed, restricting access to invited readers only. I have no idea if it was read or not. I felt it was most definitely read-worthy and so, I hope this is ok Rach. I'm sharing it with you all.

I was bottle fed with formula as a baby so initally I could have gone either way on the BF issue as my only role models were those that had formula fed. When I was considering my options I went with my gut which told me why would we have breasts if they weren't for the very basic and evolutionary based reason to feed our babies. I thought, "How can we mere mortals think that we could replicate something that has been evolving for thousands and thousands (or more) of years in the name of convenience and the avoidance of some of the messier parts of being human."

BF can be hard but support groups are invaluable because we can't bitch to Mom and Grandma because they don't know how to help us as much as they want to. BF women need guidance and support from those who have done it. I never would have imagined griping to a bottle feeding mama about my BF woes because she had made her choice and no good would come of it.

I was blown away by the fact that I did so much research related to birthing my baby but figured I could wing the BF part because I figured it would be all instinct. In hindsight so is birth but that is an entirely other topic. I have found that BF is part
instinct/part learned behavior. Paving your way with your baby taking turns leading. I reached out to lactation consultants and other BF moms further down their path and sucked up any advice I could get. I felt so empowered by working with my baby and figuring it out. Yes, it was hard but anything in life that's truly rewarding usually is. I put my baby first not me and my husband because as a mom that is one of the many sacrafices you make. (I will say that my husband always had a subtle smile on his face when hearing the formula fed babies' dads complaining about the night feedings and having to switch off with Mom. They looked just as exhausted as the Mom's and he felt like he had made out really well with this deal so he was eager and well rested to help in other ways.)

I was not completely selfless in the matter though because there was something else that helped me to persevere through the hard part and that was knowing when my baby was exposed to all of the viruses and bacteria out there, that I would be exposed either directly or thru her and my body had the amazing ability to produce antibodies specific to those nasty bugs. Like some sort of immunity dance. That gave me a huge sense of security. More sleep for me for not having a potentially frequently ill baby. When I brought my baby in with a mild case of rotavirus the doctor said something to the effect of, "Your baby is so lucky your are breastfeeding, because I can't tell you how many formula fed babies are hospitalized for this. My biggest fear was that my baby could get very ill with an immature immune system and I can tell you knowing that it was the immunity in my breastmilk that is supposed to bridge that gap for her made all of the bleeding nipples, mastitis etc. etc. the price I had to pay to provide that for her. This little bundle of joy that I would throw myself in front of a bus for.

Do I think in the end that your baby(ies) will be awesome and have thrived through formula feeding...yes!!! I sure hope so because that is all I ever had!

I just was not personally willing to risk those first few years of leaving the immunity factor up to luck of the draw and chance because I had to put myself and my husband before the health of my baby. I would encourage women to make informed decisions about BF weighing all the pros and cons for them. I believe it is an extremely personal decision.

One thing I was not prepared for was the incredible sense of empowement, awe and serenity I would feel over being able to nourish this little person in the absence of anything else. I would have these Oprah aha moments all the time and be very in touch with my inner voice and wisdom. When I get to the the teen years with my
children if I am so blessed I hope some of the early BF struggles will help me to again negotiate the very trying teen years. I know this is very long winded so I won't even go into the NYT article. If you would like to hear my thoughts on that let me know.

I will close with I do not judge my Mom for making her personal feeding decision for her babies and I don't judge you. When you refer to old fashioned babies one thing I wish is that you would look beyond your Mom and Grandma's generations and consider how we have evolved as humans. Breastmilk and a network of supportive women was critical to an infant's survival.

I wish you well but please let's look at this as we are all mothers on an incredibly difficult but amazing journey and support each other whenever we can. Let's agree to disagree without bashing each other.

Peace to you!
Rachael