Why won't my kid talk?
Toddler is about to hit 18 months. His vocabulary consists of bah-bah which he uses appropriately to say good-bye to anything and everything. He can't (or won't) say no, yes, Mummy or Daddy (muh-muh and duh-duh are as close as he gets and then it's indiscriminate) or anything else. I'm frustrated by it. He's a whiz physically and could probably walk a tightrope if you set one in front of him and a grape on the other side (he's very into grapes). He follows directions and has no problems with hearing aside from the selective-hearing issues he inherited from his Dad. So why won't he speak? He won't immitate anything aside from the "oof-oof" which sounds more like "ooh-ooh" which I gather approximates what a dog says.
Everyone is saying he'll talk when he's ready or he's just being stubborn, which honestly pisses me off even more. I'd be comfy with that if there was any sign of what I percieve as the logical progression of speech aquisition but there isn't! He's been making the same bloody oof noise for dog for several months now. "Buh-buh" isn't turning into "bye-bye" and he isn't adding any new words or even new sounds. He's a smart, smart kid but this doesn't jive. He's getting frustrated with his inability to communicate but refuses to use the signs I've been using with him for months now. He signed for a bit when he was little but now just grunts and makes faces and yells when he's asking for things or telling me to bugger off. It's making me mental.
I posted a request for referrals from the local mama yahoo group. They all say there's a fab woman on the island who is a miracle worker with rugrats with word issues. They also report that her waiting list is 6 months long and that I'll need to become a double amputee to afford said service. Sigh.
Everyone is saying he'll talk when he's ready or he's just being stubborn, which honestly pisses me off even more. I'd be comfy with that if there was any sign of what I percieve as the logical progression of speech aquisition but there isn't! He's been making the same bloody oof noise for dog for several months now. "Buh-buh" isn't turning into "bye-bye" and he isn't adding any new words or even new sounds. He's a smart, smart kid but this doesn't jive. He's getting frustrated with his inability to communicate but refuses to use the signs I've been using with him for months now. He signed for a bit when he was little but now just grunts and makes faces and yells when he's asking for things or telling me to bugger off. It's making me mental.
I posted a request for referrals from the local mama yahoo group. They all say there's a fab woman on the island who is a miracle worker with rugrats with word issues. They also report that her waiting list is 6 months long and that I'll need to become a double amputee to afford said service. Sigh.
posted by Louisa at 11:07 PM
8 Comments:
Dryden didn't start talking until he was about 18/20 months. His first word was "Book", and we haven't been able to turn him off (or even 'down' lol) ever since.
I've heard that kids who are physical first tend to talk later, and vice versa. :)
Some kids just don't NEED to speak as they are understood and/or feel cared for without verbalizing. First children tend to speak less quickly than children with siblings to emulate.
I tend to think that (like "potty" training) they have their whole life to do these things--speak, use the toilet, etc. and kids are way too RUSHED in this world and in this day and age to do EVERYTHING.
I know you're not freaking out, but here's another opinion saying probably no worries.
Hh
I know how weird it is to see other talking 18 mo olds and not yours. I worried when my first son said nothing at 18 mo but as he got older I worried less, even though he didn`t say much of anything until he was 3. My husband didn`t speak until he was 4, so its normal for us I guess.
Grunts got him everything he needed also & it got easier. Some kids aren`t interested in certain skills, my son was more interested in tying teeny knots or taking off his clothes at that age! Good luck & try not to worry.
My brother didn't say ONE WORD until he was 2, then it was in complete sentances from there on out. "I want down" was his first word. No joke.
My own son was similar, and his baby sister seems to be following suit. I think of it as a string of christmas lights...they are learning so many things that have to do with language and talking, and they have to have all the lights in working order for them to turn on. But when they do...and they will...watch out. :)
Ohhh....forgot to add...my son would say "duh" for everything until he was about 2 1/2. My parents thought he was a genius..."he said dog!" "he said door!" "he said dictionary!" The "duh's" grated on my nerves more than I'd care to admit...I imagined going into the liquor closet and making it a drinking game... ;)
Oh, you're all wonderful! I know. I need to chill out.
Wonderglow: In our house its "Muh" and I'm SO gonna turn it into a drinking game. :) Thanks for helping me see the funny side.
My boy is now 2.5 yrs. At 20 months I started really getting worried that he wasn't talking. And wasn't interested in talking. No amount of bribing, cajoling, or demanding would elicit more than a grunt. He didn't even use consonants, just grunts. There were no spontaneous words, not even spontaneous signs (we'd been using sign consistently with him since he was about 12 mos old).
So shortly thereafter (20-21 mos?) we bought him a signing time video. Within a week he was starting to spontaneously sign, and was using about 4-6 signs. We bought him more videos, my mother bought him more, and by the time he was 23 months, he had nearly 50 signs and was starting to make sign sentences and the grunting and whining were gone.
At 28 months he started really using spoken words and now he listens closely and tries to imitate simple words and is starting to speak in sentences. Much of his communication is still a mix of sign and spoken words.
He often signs and speaks the same word simultaneously, something we encourage.
My point is, he will acquire language. He won't do it according to any charts. He will do it as he is capable of doing it. 18 months is young for you to be freaking out. Yeah, there are those odd children that start sentences at 12 months. It's not your kid, oh well.
I suggest the Signing Time videos. And watch them with him, so you can learn the signs and interact with him. Also visit www.lifeprint.com for a good basic sign dictionary.
Hello! I came here by way of midwiffle seed... This post made me laugh with understanding. My son is 30 months old and in exactly the same linguist development stage that your son is in. Alex has just (just!) started with telling me what noise a dog makes or a tiger. He hasn't called me mama yet, and da-da means daddy, goodbye or good night, depending.
My pediatrician freaked out a year ago, sent us for evaluation with the school system and we're just now arranging for speech therapy for him. The speech therapist said that she's seeing a veritable epidemic of boy children, especially those whose parents are computer technicians, engineers or musicians, who do not speak until they're 3.
Chin up, you're not alone!
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