Doulas are GREAT!
I've yet to meet one I didn't like. I met Kristina from RedSpiral the other day. We enjoyed an afternoon sharing stories from the trenches and watching our boys play in the sun. She is as cool as I thought she'd be. For the second, unbelievable time now I seem to have tapped into this fountain of goodness that is a local Doula community. It's a glorious thing to find a group of women (I don't know if a male doula exisits) who perform a phenomenal service, frequently for little or no compensation, for the rewards of knowing that a woman's birth experience was better simply because you were there. Like me, they "get it" in a way that many don't. And I find that I need their company in the same desperate (in the best sense) way I need air. Oddly enough it approximates the way I need chocolate brownies and icecream the week before I get my period :)
In Kansas City where I last lived I found myself enveloped by the local Doula network and supported and mentored gently by a Doula called Sarah. She was passionate and although I never saw her in action, I'm sure she was amazing with women in labor. All of the women there were warm and funny and generous with their time and energies. They offered support and encouragement and provided me with opportunities to debrief after births. I've always needed the opportunity to talk about the experiences I've had with birthing women. There is an intensity and pressure that builds with labor which lingers for me after I've left. I'll probably need to get over it a bit but in the meantime debriefing is so important. I've always been grateful for the veterans who have understood this and listened and nodded as I ran my mouth off late at night. But I digress...
Since I've moved to the northwest I've missed the doulas I left behind. But I think I've just tapped the local network and I'm pleased. I'm struck again by the extraordinary qualities that drive women to be with women. Their willingness to endure the crazy hours the work demands and the spoken and unspoken disapproval of nursing staff and unfriendly physicians. The physical rigors of panting through hours of early pushiness to help keep mama focussed, the sacral counterpressure which only ever seems to be requested "HARDER!!". It's not easy being the person in the room who must absorb so much of a woman's discomfort, frustration and outright wackiness that emerges when a woman's cervix is stretching to it's limits. It's harder yet to reflect back calm faith and encouragement when a hospital birth is hopelessly hijacked and you just sense a bad outcome sliding your way inexorably. Your hide gets tough. Then there's the frustration and disappointment of waiting outside an OR (Doulas are rarely allowed to accompany their clients inside) when things go awry and a cesarean ensues. And crying on the way home from exhaustion and a thousand other emotions.
In today's consumer driven, time conscious economy what makes the contributions of doulas even more spectacular is that most of them make very little money. Some even make none.
"A doula for every woman who wants one" means (to me) that if a poor client implores you to attend her birth you will make every effort to help. If you can't do it there is almost certainly a less experienced but no less enthusiastic and giving woman who is preparing to certify with DONA (or similar) who will. Confession time: I've not made a penny as a doula. Not one cent. I was paid in gratitude, experience and the priviledge of helping a new mother take her first breath as she watched her newborn take (or hers!). In Kansas City I paid my doula her full fee of $350.00. Thats all. She spent a good 4hrs with us prenatally and about 10 hrs during my labor and immediate postpartum. It would have been the same had I labored for 30hrs. In KC the most experienced doulas (25yr veterans) only charged $500-$600 a birth. But they rarely actually got paid that. Sometimes they accepted tomatoes, or plumbing help, or babysitting or simply reduced their fees so that their clients could afford it. Here in the northwest the going rate seems to be about $500-$600. I've heard rumors of doulas who earn up to $1000 in places like New York and L.A. but I wonder how many actually do. Much to Husband's chagrin, this work is certainly not about money.
On the medstudent boards and in other medical forums where I occasionally lurk (or should that be spy?) Doulas get railed on a bit. Like Midwifery, somehow only the bad stories make the rounds in the mainstream. The wonderful experiences are much quieter and less obvious. It perplexes me. I truly believe that a good doula makes a spectacular impact in birthspace. One study I read while I was training to be a Doula even found that not only were outcomes improved with active, continuous labor support, there was a measurable improvement when a woman just sat in the corner and observed! That's how powerful the "with woman" factor is! I've been on the receiving end as the laboring woman and on the giving end (the Doula to the mother). I was so much more comfortable (physically and mentally) having my Doula there. And I might be giving myself too much credit but I believe my clients when they tell me that I made a big difference to them. I've even been told that "I couldn't have achieved the unmedicated birth I wanted without you". I don't believe that but I'm sure I helped a lot and filled a void that certainly existed in the hospital where she labored.
I realized the other day as I chatted with two of my friends who are working toward becoming Doulas themselves that I will miss being a Doula when I am a Midwife. The two jobs, Midwife and Doula, are very different. Ultimately I think because as a Midwife I will be responsible for the health and wellbeing of mama and baby. As a Doula I am less complicatedly only responsible for improving the physical and emotional wellbeing of the mother as she births. I look forward to taking on the greater responsibility but I hope that in there somewhere I will be able to borrow on my Doula tools.
I don't know if it will be possible to separate the two once I am actually a Midwife. Will I be able to take my Midwife hat off long enough to really and truly Doula? Will I want to relinquish the extra helping of responsibility?
In the meantime I tip my hat to all the Doulas out there, those in my life and those I've not met. You are a rare and precious breed. I personally will never birth again without one. I might have to do without a Midwife (if something goes wrong) but I will never go without a Doula. No matter what my OB might say. It's a deal-breaker for me. I hope all the women I work with find a fine Doula to walk beside them on their journey to motherhood. I look forward to working beside them.
By the way, I'm much more of a stream of consciousness kind of writer. Perhaps that will change, but don't hold your breath. :)
In Kansas City where I last lived I found myself enveloped by the local Doula network and supported and mentored gently by a Doula called Sarah. She was passionate and although I never saw her in action, I'm sure she was amazing with women in labor. All of the women there were warm and funny and generous with their time and energies. They offered support and encouragement and provided me with opportunities to debrief after births. I've always needed the opportunity to talk about the experiences I've had with birthing women. There is an intensity and pressure that builds with labor which lingers for me after I've left. I'll probably need to get over it a bit but in the meantime debriefing is so important. I've always been grateful for the veterans who have understood this and listened and nodded as I ran my mouth off late at night. But I digress...
Since I've moved to the northwest I've missed the doulas I left behind. But I think I've just tapped the local network and I'm pleased. I'm struck again by the extraordinary qualities that drive women to be with women. Their willingness to endure the crazy hours the work demands and the spoken and unspoken disapproval of nursing staff and unfriendly physicians. The physical rigors of panting through hours of early pushiness to help keep mama focussed, the sacral counterpressure which only ever seems to be requested "HARDER!!". It's not easy being the person in the room who must absorb so much of a woman's discomfort, frustration and outright wackiness that emerges when a woman's cervix is stretching to it's limits. It's harder yet to reflect back calm faith and encouragement when a hospital birth is hopelessly hijacked and you just sense a bad outcome sliding your way inexorably. Your hide gets tough. Then there's the frustration and disappointment of waiting outside an OR (Doulas are rarely allowed to accompany their clients inside) when things go awry and a cesarean ensues. And crying on the way home from exhaustion and a thousand other emotions.
In today's consumer driven, time conscious economy what makes the contributions of doulas even more spectacular is that most of them make very little money. Some even make none.
"A doula for every woman who wants one" means (to me) that if a poor client implores you to attend her birth you will make every effort to help. If you can't do it there is almost certainly a less experienced but no less enthusiastic and giving woman who is preparing to certify with DONA (or similar) who will. Confession time: I've not made a penny as a doula. Not one cent. I was paid in gratitude, experience and the priviledge of helping a new mother take her first breath as she watched her newborn take (or hers!). In Kansas City I paid my doula her full fee of $350.00. Thats all. She spent a good 4hrs with us prenatally and about 10 hrs during my labor and immediate postpartum. It would have been the same had I labored for 30hrs. In KC the most experienced doulas (25yr veterans) only charged $500-$600 a birth. But they rarely actually got paid that. Sometimes they accepted tomatoes, or plumbing help, or babysitting or simply reduced their fees so that their clients could afford it. Here in the northwest the going rate seems to be about $500-$600. I've heard rumors of doulas who earn up to $1000 in places like New York and L.A. but I wonder how many actually do. Much to Husband's chagrin, this work is certainly not about money.
On the medstudent boards and in other medical forums where I occasionally lurk (or should that be spy?) Doulas get railed on a bit. Like Midwifery, somehow only the bad stories make the rounds in the mainstream. The wonderful experiences are much quieter and less obvious. It perplexes me. I truly believe that a good doula makes a spectacular impact in birthspace. One study I read while I was training to be a Doula even found that not only were outcomes improved with active, continuous labor support, there was a measurable improvement when a woman just sat in the corner and observed! That's how powerful the "with woman" factor is! I've been on the receiving end as the laboring woman and on the giving end (the Doula to the mother). I was so much more comfortable (physically and mentally) having my Doula there. And I might be giving myself too much credit but I believe my clients when they tell me that I made a big difference to them. I've even been told that "I couldn't have achieved the unmedicated birth I wanted without you". I don't believe that but I'm sure I helped a lot and filled a void that certainly existed in the hospital where she labored.
I realized the other day as I chatted with two of my friends who are working toward becoming Doulas themselves that I will miss being a Doula when I am a Midwife. The two jobs, Midwife and Doula, are very different. Ultimately I think because as a Midwife I will be responsible for the health and wellbeing of mama and baby. As a Doula I am less complicatedly only responsible for improving the physical and emotional wellbeing of the mother as she births. I look forward to taking on the greater responsibility but I hope that in there somewhere I will be able to borrow on my Doula tools.
I don't know if it will be possible to separate the two once I am actually a Midwife. Will I be able to take my Midwife hat off long enough to really and truly Doula? Will I want to relinquish the extra helping of responsibility?
In the meantime I tip my hat to all the Doulas out there, those in my life and those I've not met. You are a rare and precious breed. I personally will never birth again without one. I might have to do without a Midwife (if something goes wrong) but I will never go without a Doula. No matter what my OB might say. It's a deal-breaker for me. I hope all the women I work with find a fine Doula to walk beside them on their journey to motherhood. I look forward to working beside them.
By the way, I'm much more of a stream of consciousness kind of writer. Perhaps that will change, but don't hold your breath. :)
posted by Louisa at 7:36 PM
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