Midwifery School
Where no one can hear you scream...
Someone aught to put that on a t-shirt
Seriously. I'm having acute Whenwillitbloodywellstopraininginnorthwesternwashingtonitis.
Sigh.
I'm presently obsessed with all the pathological heart murmurs which my textbooks now have me convinced I'm probably missing in every second newborn exam. Now there's a phrase I think certain Doc's who shall remain nameless would have a field day with. I'm desperately pleased that I'm not in medical school as cardiology would so not make my short list of things I might like to do with my life, and it's cold comfort that I guess even pediatricians miss a good chunk of heart murmurs in neonates. Damn. No pressure. Especially when significant chunks of our client load basically refuse to engage in "well child visits" to the local peds. Remind me to tell you about a client the other day who was refusing lab work (basic CBC to check for anemia) after TWO prior hemorrhages. "No dear, you may not have your homebirth if you can't get your Hgb/Hct above 30/10 and no we won't take your 'feeling good' as an alternative indicator for actual paper lab results. Oh, and we need to discuss active management of 3rd stage, needlephobia be damned". Seriously.
I aced my exam on shoulder dystocia, breech, multiples and VBAC. I know enough textbook knowledge now to know that I have no desire to attend planned breeches or multiples anytime soon thank you very much. Kudos to those MW's who can/will, because Lord knows no one (doc/mw) in Washington will deliver a planned vaginal breech in hosp or out, and the opportunity for twins anywhere but the hospital (and even then those opportunities are as rare as hen's teeth), well, good luck to you.
In happier news well, kinda, my three year old qualified for the school district's developmental preschool. His speech delay (relatively minor) combined with his behavioral 'challenges' (pleasant euphemism for he's a rubber ball except when he's unconscious) have bought him a golden ticket into the coolest state funded preschool program. It's bittersweet as given that he has a spot we have 'official' word that he's got some issues, but also rockin' in that early intervention shall be forthcoming - let's be real, an IEP before you're 4 can't be all bad. It also means that we effectively halve our massive montessori preschool bill, and they pay for his speech therapy which we SO couldn't afford. Oh, and he's thrilled because he gets to ride the bus to school and he couldn't care less that it's the short one (not looking at anyone Sugar Daddy).
Eldest (5 almost 6, going on 14) effectively 'graduated' from kindy tonight. Why that makes me so melancholy has me puzzled.
Be advised that I shall not be attempting an early exit from midwifery school, though I am picking up a few 'extra' births with another local MW over the summer. August Licensing date sounds just dandy, from here on my perch in the madhouse.
Here's to the sun coming out.
Tomorrow DAMMIT!
P.S. Apologies for my shithouse grammar of late (not to mention vulgar Australian vernacular). I find that I am too tired/busy most of the time for the finely crafted posts of old, and feel like, rather than presenting my 'public' blog face to y'all, I can finally relax a bit and be myself. I am, and will always be flawed and my faulty grammar (and desperately misplaced love of parentheses) is simply one of those flaws. I can hear my mother sigh as I wrote that.
Someone aught to put that on a t-shirt
Seriously. I'm having acute Whenwillitbloodywellstopraininginnorthwesternwashingtonitis.
Sigh.
I'm presently obsessed with all the pathological heart murmurs which my textbooks now have me convinced I'm probably missing in every second newborn exam. Now there's a phrase I think certain Doc's who shall remain nameless would have a field day with. I'm desperately pleased that I'm not in medical school as cardiology would so not make my short list of things I might like to do with my life, and it's cold comfort that I guess even pediatricians miss a good chunk of heart murmurs in neonates. Damn. No pressure. Especially when significant chunks of our client load basically refuse to engage in "well child visits" to the local peds. Remind me to tell you about a client the other day who was refusing lab work (basic CBC to check for anemia) after TWO prior hemorrhages. "No dear, you may not have your homebirth if you can't get your Hgb/Hct above 30/10 and no we won't take your 'feeling good' as an alternative indicator for actual paper lab results. Oh, and we need to discuss active management of 3rd stage, needlephobia be damned". Seriously.
I aced my exam on shoulder dystocia, breech, multiples and VBAC. I know enough textbook knowledge now to know that I have no desire to attend planned breeches or multiples anytime soon thank you very much. Kudos to those MW's who can/will, because Lord knows no one (doc/mw) in Washington will deliver a planned vaginal breech in hosp or out, and the opportunity for twins anywhere but the hospital (and even then those opportunities are as rare as hen's teeth), well, good luck to you.
In happier news well, kinda, my three year old qualified for the school district's developmental preschool. His speech delay (relatively minor) combined with his behavioral 'challenges' (pleasant euphemism for he's a rubber ball except when he's unconscious) have bought him a golden ticket into the coolest state funded preschool program. It's bittersweet as given that he has a spot we have 'official' word that he's got some issues, but also rockin' in that early intervention shall be forthcoming - let's be real, an IEP before you're 4 can't be all bad. It also means that we effectively halve our massive montessori preschool bill, and they pay for his speech therapy which we SO couldn't afford. Oh, and he's thrilled because he gets to ride the bus to school and he couldn't care less that it's the short one (not looking at anyone Sugar Daddy).
Eldest (5 almost 6, going on 14) effectively 'graduated' from kindy tonight. Why that makes me so melancholy has me puzzled.
Be advised that I shall not be attempting an early exit from midwifery school, though I am picking up a few 'extra' births with another local MW over the summer. August Licensing date sounds just dandy, from here on my perch in the madhouse.
Here's to the sun coming out.
Tomorrow DAMMIT!
P.S. Apologies for my shithouse grammar of late (not to mention vulgar Australian vernacular). I find that I am too tired/busy most of the time for the finely crafted posts of old, and feel like, rather than presenting my 'public' blog face to y'all, I can finally relax a bit and be myself. I am, and will always be flawed and my faulty grammar (and desperately misplaced love of parentheses) is simply one of those flaws. I can hear my mother sigh as I wrote that.
posted by Louisa at 9:15 PM
4 Comments:
"(and desperately misplaced love of parentheses)"
hahahaha - yes! I'm so with you there.
My grammar is shit too lately.
Say, can you write a post on how not to die being on-call and having kidlets simultaneously? I just don't get it. And I probably should because I have school starting in July and births in August.
Also if margaritas are truly the answer - I'm really screwed. Unless they are good 2nd-hand in mama milk? maybe?
gah!
xo
What exactly is going on with Western Washington? Aren't we supposed to be "The Birth Mecca" or something? And yet, I hear about all of these other midwife attended HBAC's and twin (even triplet) homebirths, which would NEVER EVER happen here!
It's pretty sad when a homebirther like myself begs and pleads for God to give me a singleton...for the SINGLE reason that I will not (will fucking not!) give birth in a hospital again and I really (really, really!) will not have a c-section on my 4th pregnancy for breech presentation.
this oh so casual girl is the one I love...i like this new writing style...or old one, whatever it may be!
Congrats to O on his "graduation". Can you believe they are nearly 6...just got out the cute kissing pics from 4th July about 4 years ago at our pool, remember those...?
I miss the Kopi days where kids just hung out on the floor!
I'm not going to say anything about the short bus or the long bus or anything. I just hate school buses in general :)
Post a Comment
<< Home