Going quiet.
Folks who still have access to my inner thoughts, and there are only about 10 of you now, most of you are close friends and family, and a couple of you are old friends from the blogosphere.
Yesterday taught me to hate blogging. Which makes me sad as it has been quite a refuge for the last two years.
In the last 24 or so hours, because of an ill advised choice of words (recurrent theme) which didn't accurately represent the work which my midwife and I did. I have been raked over the coals, unfairly I think, by every man (woman) and his dog. My blog received record traffic, and sadly about 98% of it was directly from Amy. I haven't published the vast majority of really, really nasty comments I've received, and in the interests of not discussing an actual case, I can't defend myself (or my preceptor).
This morning I am licking my wounds, but this blogging thing was always intended as a place for me to process and figure stuff out has become somewhere I'm now more often than not feeling anxious and attacked. I understand that I will also be vilified for closing my blog, but you know, whatever.
I don't need this shit. I have too much else to do.
I'm off to a birth.
Lots of love to all of you,
Morag
Yesterday taught me to hate blogging. Which makes me sad as it has been quite a refuge for the last two years.
In the last 24 or so hours, because of an ill advised choice of words (recurrent theme) which didn't accurately represent the work which my midwife and I did. I have been raked over the coals, unfairly I think, by every man (woman) and his dog. My blog received record traffic, and sadly about 98% of it was directly from Amy. I haven't published the vast majority of really, really nasty comments I've received, and in the interests of not discussing an actual case, I can't defend myself (or my preceptor).
This morning I am licking my wounds, but this blogging thing was always intended as a place for me to process and figure stuff out has become somewhere I'm now more often than not feeling anxious and attacked. I understand that I will also be vilified for closing my blog, but you know, whatever.
I don't need this shit. I have too much else to do.
I'm off to a birth.
Lots of love to all of you,
Morag
posted by Louisa at 7:56 AM
15 Comments:
Oh fucking hell. Louisa. I don't know what to say. Except you obviously know that the EXACT same thing has happened to me yesterday. Outed, anyway.
I absolutely feel for you. Where do we go to from here? Where do we go?
We are, to be frank, pretty bloody good. We are 2 of 3 student midwives, WORLDWIDE, who MIDIRS, the gold standard, best midwifery journal in the world, chooses to put on their blog page. 2 of 9 midwifery bloggers WORLDWIDE.
That's amazing.
But where do we go to from here my lovely? I have lots of ideas, but i'd love it if we could support each other through this, as right now, i'm a bit of a crying mess. My thoughts go out to you x
Oh, & can I please have your email addy so I can 'invite' you to my blog? x
I'm so sorry blogging stopped being safe for you. I love you, my future-midwife sister. There's got to be a special place in bad-karma purgatory for "Dr" Amy.
Louisa, while I have not always agreed with your opinions I have always loved your outspokenness and your willingness to put yourself on a limb in the interest of those things you feel so passionately about.
You are the kind of midwife that can and will bring about change in the childbirth world. You have the ability to open people's minds and command the kind of respect that makes people want to listen. It may not seem like it right now but you are influential. Indeed, the first time I met you I wanted to know you because I felt that passion emanating from you. The same passion that I and so many other women feel where birthing is concerned.
You are amazing.
I didn't see what Amy's comments were but I'm sure I don't need to.
Don't forget who you are. Someone else's negativity shall not define who you are or what you do. There are many people out there with many different opinions. They don't all coincide but we all need to be respectful.
I'm sorry you have been the target of someone's negativity. You don't deserve it.
Please don't let this silence you.
With peace and love in my heart,
Aimee
aw, L, so sorry to hear this has happened. Thanks for including me - I'd miss you too much otherwise!
lots of love from a too-busy-to-blog blogger friend
xoxo
Dear Louisa,
I hope you continue to publish, I really do. You have never been unethical. Your opinions are informed, sometimes understandably emotional but always interesting. I love you dearly -but then I would wouldn't I?
Dad.xxxx
Louisa,
I said it privately in an email and now I'll say it a little more publically. Give me her name and I'll have her legs happily broken :) Or at least I'll find some monk over her in Japan to make sure her Karma is truly cosmically messed up.
Please don't stop posting, and try to ignore the idiots who this amy is one.
Lots of love, hang in there.
This sucks - I'm glad you invited me to read though as I'd have stalked you until you relented ;). Keep your chin up and keep fighting the good fight.
Louisa, please, carry on. I'm going to.
Thank you for including me, Louisa! I said this in my email, and I'll say it again here: Thank you for the work that you do. It is obvious from your posts on this blog that you are driven to learn as much as you can. Any offhanded assessment of you, based on a smattering of statements made by you as you processed a birth, necessarily falls short of your truth. I wish that you did not feel the need to make your blog private, but I certainly respect your desire to be respected by those who read your words. Carry on, woman!
Louisa,
I'm so sorry about all this. I wrote your blog a eulogy on my site. My favorite quote of yours:
"My kingdom for a marguarita!
I'm glad I can still access your post- keep writing.
You are one of the strongest women I know...keep blogging, I would miss you even more if you didn't. And besides it is one more thing to occupy my time so I don't have to clean the house and do laundry!
Love you, miss you!
Thank you for the invite, sweet, wonderful woman!
You are such a gift and blessing; don't let people stuck in their hate and prejudice hold you back.
xoxox
I'm wondering how I missed the storm...one day I'm reading your blog, the next it seemed you went POOF!
Thank you for allowing me to read, Louisa. I can only imagine the anguish you have dealt with in the past few days. It is not fair, it is unwarranted, and it is sickening.
One of these days our voices will be loud enough to drown out the vileness of certain no-longer-licensed-or-practicing-sOB's.
I look forward to reading. :)
Angela
I missed the storm too. Niki illed me in a bit. I hate that you got caught in he crosshairs. I think there is seriously something wrong with that woman.
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