Bust.
I blinked and two days had passed and I hadn't turned on my computer. A not insignificant occurrence.
I'm facing down the last month of my first quarter. I'm facing down my Well-Woman Assessment exam and final physical. I'd been feeling very positive about it until I attempted to practice with my final partner for the first time and completely bombed it. I'm still dwelling on it a bit three days later. It as probably the single worst attempt at a pap-smear ever. I think I got comfy with the spacious and more accommodating pelvises of my multiparous classmates and, when faced with the comparitively petite and exceedingly toned anatomy of my (nulliparous) final partner no matter how hard I tried I just could not find her cervix. I know that at least parts of my fumbling attempt must have been at best exceedingly uncomfortable and at worst probably quite painful. What seemed like an hour in (but I think was only about 15 minutes - shit, I don't know...) we called it a bust and ended the practice. I did a quick bi-manual after the speculum disaster and attempted a little pelvemetry but all that aside it was my first ever categorical failure at a pelvic. Hopefully next time we practice the stars will align or something.
Jeez, I'm humbled. My confidence has definitely taken a big hit. I keep telling myself that it probably needed one. Next time I'll do better. Please, Universe, let me do better next time.
I'm facing down the last month of my first quarter. I'm facing down my Well-Woman Assessment exam and final physical. I'd been feeling very positive about it until I attempted to practice with my final partner for the first time and completely bombed it. I'm still dwelling on it a bit three days later. It as probably the single worst attempt at a pap-smear ever. I think I got comfy with the spacious and more accommodating pelvises of my multiparous classmates and, when faced with the comparitively petite and exceedingly toned anatomy of my (nulliparous) final partner no matter how hard I tried I just could not find her cervix. I know that at least parts of my fumbling attempt must have been at best exceedingly uncomfortable and at worst probably quite painful. What seemed like an hour in (but I think was only about 15 minutes - shit, I don't know...) we called it a bust and ended the practice. I did a quick bi-manual after the speculum disaster and attempted a little pelvemetry but all that aside it was my first ever categorical failure at a pelvic. Hopefully next time we practice the stars will align or something.
Jeez, I'm humbled. My confidence has definitely taken a big hit. I keep telling myself that it probably needed one. Next time I'll do better. Please, Universe, let me do better next time.
posted by Louisa at 9:09 AM
1 Comments:
don't beat yourself up too much. my ob/gyn with 20+ years of experience never seems to be able to find my cervix without lots of poking, prodding and digging around. she always tell me that my cervix likes to hide. she actually had to take a break once and let me relax for 5 minutes b/c she was having such a hard time finding it. she's a great doc though, i guess i just have a cervix who likes to be left alone.
Post a Comment
<< Home