Your Planet or Mine?
The past few weeks I've been assaulted by stories from people who I swear originate from a planet other than mine...
I went to a brithday party and I found myself surrounded by smart, educated, professional women in their late 30's (for the most part). Remember I'm only in my late twenties as parenthood arrived in my life rather uninvited and about a decade early... I sometimes feel like the odd one out. Now I'm pretty sure I just am the odd one.
One had a baby 6 weeks ago, another is due sometime this month. Everyone else there has babies/children between the ages of 4 and 6 weeks.
The topic was promptly changed. Before long I was surrounded with women all sharing stories about their inductions (many women who live on the island will chose an induction so as not to have to worry about the ferry schedule...) and c-section births. They all had stories of "my baby's head was just stuck." or "My pelvis is just too small" or "I'd already had one so I had to have another C-section" along with the various descriptions of pre-eclampsia. Then the conversation swung around to the glorious benefits of getting your epidural in the parking lot. "I wanted to enjoy my baby's birth, you know?"
Oh and sprinkled in there were some pretty nasty anti-homebirth horror stories of birth gone wrong and emergency transfer... I wished my friend Betsy was there with her first time homebirth tale and her gorgeous EC'd, AP'd baby girl was there for some moral support.
But I didn't. I drank my glass of wine quietly and said nothing.
I left feeling really sad. This is what the present birth culture has reduced large chunks of the female, childbearing population to. Sheeple who do what they are told because that's what they have been taught to do. I don't know what's worse, that they are stupidly compliant or that they celebrate the fact afterwards. It's a fucking travesty.
And then, I made a new friend. We went to the zoo with our children and another mutual mama friend. She was with her two year old and mentioned she had an 8 month old. I'm not sure why but I assumed the absence of baby meant that she wasn't breastfeeding. She asked me about school, I told her. I think I'd gotten so depressed with all the c-section tales that I also half-assumed that she'd also had her babies by c-section as well. On the ferry home she confirmed that yep, her first was a c-section. And then she proudly told me she'd had a VBAC with number two.
YAY! Oh I was so happy to hear that. And at a Naval hospital to boot! So awesome. She's planning an unmedicated second VBAC with her next baby. You have no idea how much I needed to meet that mama. Oh and shortly afterwards she started complaining because she was engorged. :) That was what I needed to hear.
Goes to show. You never know when you'll meet someone from your own planet.
I went to a brithday party and I found myself surrounded by smart, educated, professional women in their late 30's (for the most part). Remember I'm only in my late twenties as parenthood arrived in my life rather uninvited and about a decade early... I sometimes feel like the odd one out. Now I'm pretty sure I just am the odd one.
One had a baby 6 weeks ago, another is due sometime this month. Everyone else there has babies/children between the ages of 4 and 6 weeks.
I was asked: "So what are you going to school for?".
"Midwifery," I smiled "I couldn't be any more excited"
"But you're not going to be one of those crazy homebirth midwives are you?!". Her tone was one of sarcasm and ridicule.
Imagine my eyebrows raised here..."Well, actually, yes."
The topic was promptly changed. Before long I was surrounded with women all sharing stories about their inductions (many women who live on the island will chose an induction so as not to have to worry about the ferry schedule...) and c-section births. They all had stories of "my baby's head was just stuck." or "My pelvis is just too small" or "I'd already had one so I had to have another C-section" along with the various descriptions of pre-eclampsia. Then the conversation swung around to the glorious benefits of getting your epidural in the parking lot. "I wanted to enjoy my baby's birth, you know?"
Oh and sprinkled in there were some pretty nasty anti-homebirth horror stories of birth gone wrong and emergency transfer... I wished my friend Betsy was there with her first time homebirth tale and her gorgeous EC'd, AP'd baby girl was there for some moral support.
"Ya know what?" I wanted to shout "Actually I don't. I think it's beyond sad that you're all so satisfied with the status quo which seems to remove women's autonomy and all the power you used to build that baby you carried. It amazes me that you are happy to follow along with the demands of your physician to be induced on his/her schedule so that your body absorbs the risk of induction and/or c-section. I think that you all need your heads examined!"
But I didn't. I drank my glass of wine quietly and said nothing.
I left feeling really sad. This is what the present birth culture has reduced large chunks of the female, childbearing population to. Sheeple who do what they are told because that's what they have been taught to do. I don't know what's worse, that they are stupidly compliant or that they celebrate the fact afterwards. It's a fucking travesty.
And then, I made a new friend. We went to the zoo with our children and another mutual mama friend. She was with her two year old and mentioned she had an 8 month old. I'm not sure why but I assumed the absence of baby meant that she wasn't breastfeeding. She asked me about school, I told her. I think I'd gotten so depressed with all the c-section tales that I also half-assumed that she'd also had her babies by c-section as well. On the ferry home she confirmed that yep, her first was a c-section. And then she proudly told me she'd had a VBAC with number two.
YAY! Oh I was so happy to hear that. And at a Naval hospital to boot! So awesome. She's planning an unmedicated second VBAC with her next baby. You have no idea how much I needed to meet that mama. Oh and shortly afterwards she started complaining because she was engorged. :) That was what I needed to hear.
Goes to show. You never know when you'll meet someone from your own planet.
posted by Louisa at 5:28 PM
1 Comments:
Hey luscious woman!
I wanted to let you know that the local Naval hospital is actually fairly supportive of VBAC. They still allow them and there are providers who will actually stay at the hospital the entire time a woman's laboring, don't use Pit on them, etc. It's really weird for community hospitals to be more archaic than military ones... *scratching my head*
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